Writing with Confidence, Clarity, and Respect

“We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympahetic to us.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

Good business writing sounds clear, confident, and respectful. How can you make sure your professional writing voice hits the right note? Let’s take a look at how to solve three common voice-related problems.

Problem: The writing sounds doubtful or wishy-washy.

Solution: Create confidence.

Avoid an apologetic tone.
Focus on facts.
Avoid unnecessary qualifiers (maybe, probably).
Stand behind your statements and your work.

Doubtful: New theater seating fastened to the floor could be an okay solution. If you’re not too busy, you might look at the catalogs of four companies that sell theater seating (see attachments). Forgive me for being too forward, but please let me know if I can contact any of the companies for an estimate.

Confident: I recommend new theater seating, fastened to the floor. I have checked with four companies that offer theater seating and have attached their catalogs for your consideration. Please let me know if I should contact any of the companies for an estimate.

Problem: The writing sounds arrogant.

Solution: Tone down your message.

Avoid praising yourself.
Avoid absolute claims.
Focus on facts.
Provide what the receiver needs.
Don’t tear others down.

Arrogant: I thought my interview went great yesterday. You won’t find a better candidate than me to improve the lackluster nursing staff at Del Rio Hospital. Based on my work as a summer intern, I expect my references from El Paso General will say as much. I look forward to hearing back from you with good news.

Sincere: Thank you for the interview yesterday. I enjoyed meeting you and the obstetric nurses at Del Rio Hospital. I would enjoy contributing to the important work that you and other staff members do in this community. After touring your impressive obstetrics unit, I believe that my experiences as an intern at the neonatal unit of El Paso General would make me an asset to your team.

Problem: The writing sounds overly emotional.

Solution: Focus on business, not on feelings.

Step away from the writing. Cool down. Then go back to it with fresh eyes.
Focus on facts.
Focus on solutions, not on problems.
Do not use ALL-CAPS.
Do not use exclamations.

Emotional: Listen: enough with the two-hour meetings! I’ve told you multiple times, the time wasted costs us a fortune. Stick to the agenda, and if you don’t have one, MAKE ONE!

Tactful: In order to keep meetings short and productive, please provide an agenda before the meeting and preempt discussion that falls outside of the agenda.

Play the Editor!

The voice in the following email sounds doubtful and hesitant. Rewrite the email, using a confident (but not arrogant) writing voice. Scroll down to the bottom to see our recommendation.

Hi Teresa,

Forgive me for bothering you, but the head of the Graphics Design Department at Northwestern College has asked if we might possibly be interested in perhaps offering internship opportunities to strong candidates from the university’s program.

Creating internship positions may present a decent opportunity for us and Northwestern. Interns might:

Allow us an opportunity to work with potential employees.
Work on tasks you assign.
Maybe even give you up to 20 hours of work per week.

If you find time in your busy schedule, you might consider reviewing Northwestern’s policies for internships as well as my formal proposal for establishing internship positions in our office. Both documents are attached.

I’m happy to answer any questions you might have about my proposal.

Please let me know of your decision whenever works best for you, but by January 15 might be best because that is Northwestern’s deadline for credited internships in the spring semester.

Sincerely,
Dan

Get More Support

Check out Write for Business online for more tips and strategies for improving your writing voice.

Editor’s Answer

Hi Teresa,

The head of the Graphics Design Department at Northwestern College has asked if we would be interested in offering internship opportunities to strong candidates from the university’s program.

Creating internship positions could be a real win-win proposition for us and Northwestern. Interns would do the following:

Allow us an opportunity to work with potential employees.
Work on tasks you assign.
Give you up to 20 hours of work per week.

Please consider reviewing Northwestern’s policies for internships as well as my formal proposal for establishing internship positions in our office. Both documents are attached.

I’m happy to answer any questions you might have about my proposal.

Please let me know of your decision by January 15, Northwestern’s deadline for credited internships for the spring semester.

Sincerely,
Dan

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