Treating Coherence Problems

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—Bite-sized advice for better business writing—

September 25, 2019 

Treating Coherence Problems

"All fluent and effective composition depends on the connections."

—Thomas De Quincy

Patient: Give it to me straight, Doc. What’s going on? 
Doctor: You’re suffering from disordered ideas, general choppiness, and overall lack of focus.
Patient: Yes, and my readers . . . they’re irritable.  
Doctor: As I suspected. That confirms my diagnosis: You lack coherence. 
Patient: *gasps* Is it treatable? 
Doctor: Not to worry. I’m prescribing logical patterns, transitions, and repetition. 
Patient: And will that clear it up?
Doctor: That will clear it up. 

The goofy scenario above dramatizes a common writing issue—a lack of coherence. Coherence occurs when ideas in writing connect to form a unified whole. Your writing is coherent when the ideas are organized and flow smoothly and logically from one to the next. 

How can I improve my coherence?

Just as your bones rely on joints and connective tissue to move properly, writing requires certain connective features to create a smooth flow of ideas. You can connect your ideas—and improve your coherence—through patterns of organization, transitions, and repetition.

Patterns of Organization and Transitions

Logically organize your details to help readers grasp your ideas. Choose a pattern that fits your topic and purpose, and use transition words and phrases to signal the pattern. 

Time: Move chronologically from start to finish.

first
second
third
last
to begin
after / next / then
later
finally
 

Importance: Move from most important to least or from least to most.

the biggest reason
another reason
in addition
a final reason
first of all
secondly
furthermore
most importantly
 

Compare/Contrast: Examine the similarities and the differences between two subjects.

as/like
similarly
in the same way
likewise
also
however
in contrast
nevertheless
though
but/yet/still
 

Cause/Effect: Outline the causes and effects of a situation.

because
due to
the reason
the catalyst
as a result
consequently
the outcome
the conclusion
 

Problem/Solution: Examine a problem, tracing its causes and effects; then promote a solution.

because of
problem-causing
as a result of 
creates issues 
proposing a
eliminating the
suggesting a
changing the

Repetition

You can also connect ideas using intentional repetition. Repeating key words from one sentence in another helps the reader keep track of the ideas.

A new study by the U.S. Forest Service indicates that forests help scrub carbon from the air. The study, published in the journal Science, shows that forests yearly remove about 8.8 billion tons of carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. In this way, forests serve as carbon sinks, draining this greenhouse gas.

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Play the Editor!

Copy the following email into a document. Add transitions and key words to link sentences and make the email clearer. When you are finished, scroll down to see an example of one possible effective revision.

Hi everyone, 

My name is Patricia Yost, and I’ll be your internship coordinator at Lucas Communications. I want to give you a few details about what to expect on your first day. I’m excited to meet you and help you prepare for success. 

Here’s how your day will proceed. We’ll meet in the lobby of the Lucas headquarters at 9:00 a.m. You’ll find parking in the West Lot at the corner of 22nd St. and Illinois Ave. The attendant will have your name on file and give you instructions on how to proceed. Enter the building and walk to the lobby, where I will greet you.
 
I’ll give you a tour of the office and leave you with your respective supervisors, who will assign you a desk and introduce you to the different projects you will be working on in the coming months.
 
Please head to the cafeteria at noon for a complimentary lunch followed by a presentation from our HR staff. You’ll return to your departments and complete any remaining work for the day.
 
Please remember to dress in business casual attire.

If you have any questions at any point during your experience, do not hesitate to contact me at this email address or office extension 321.

Until tomorrow, 
Patricia
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Get More Support

Explore the Write for Business Guide for more tips for coherent writing.

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Editor's Recommendation

Hi everyone, 

My name is Patricia Yost, and I’ll be your internship coordinator at Lucas Communications. I want to give you a few details about what to expect on your first day as interns. I’m excited to meet you and help you prepare for a successful internship

Here’s how your first day as interns will proceed. To begin, we’ll meet in the lobby of the Lucas headquarters at 9:00 a.m. You’ll find parking in the West Lot at the corner of 22nd St. and Illinois Ave. The attendant will have your name on file and give you instructions on how to proceed. After you park, enter the building and walk to the lobby, where I will greet you.
 
Next, I’ll give you a tour of the office and leave you with your respective supervisors, who will assign you a desk and introduce you to the different projects you will be working on in the coming months.
 
At noon, please head to the cafeteria for a complimentary lunch followed by a presentation from our HR staff. Once the presentation ends, you’ll return to your departments and complete any remaining work for the day.
 
One final note: Please remember to dress in business casual attire.

If you have any questions at any point during your internship, do not hesitate to contact me at this email address or office extension 321.

Until tomorrow, 
Patricia