Setting the “Write” Pace

“Use shorter words, shorter sentences, and shorter paragraphs at the points of greatest complexity.”

—Donald Murray

The best public speakers control the pace of their speech. During campaign speeches, John F. Kennedy energized crowds with a flurry of words. In one speech, he rattled off 327 words in one minute. But when he gave his famous inaugural address, he slowed down—way down—to a rate of 96.5 words a minute.

When communicating for deep understanding, JFK knew that listeners need time to absorb information.

The same principle applies to business writing.

When you need to emphasize important points or clarify complex ideas, slow the pace of information to help readers grasp your ideas.

How can I control the pace of information?

1. Use short sentences. Periods act as stop signs. The more stop signs, the slower the reading.

Revising tip: Search for long or rambling sentences that include multiple ideas. Use periods to separate the ideas into short, digestible units.

2. Use short, focused paragraphs. Don’t overload readers with too much information. Stick to one big idea per paragraph, with any supporting sentences directly explaining or reinforcing that idea.

Revising tip: If a paragraph seems too long or complex to you, your readers will feel the same way. When revising long paragraphs, identify where the paragraph transitions to a new topic and start a new paragraph.

3. Utilize white space. White space between paragraphs and list items creates natural pauses and makes a document less daunting to read.

Revising tip: Scan your document from a distance. Look for large blocks of text. Can you separate the information into shorter paragraphs or create a list out of related ideas?

4. Try a stand-alone sentence. A single-sentence paragraph focuses readers’ attention on one important idea. Use such a sentence for emphasis but only sparingly. When overused, this technique loses its impact.

Revising tip: If your writing includes a long paragraph that you want to keep intact, follow it with a single-sentence paragraph that summarizes or emphasizes one big takeaway.

Play the Editor!

The following executive summary to a business plan is congested with information. Slow the pace of the information using some or all of the techniques from above. Scroll down to see one possible revision.

Executive Summary

Tony and Hai Pham are thrilled to introduce “The Banh Mi Stop,” a moderately priced fast-casual concept serving Vietnamese favorites, including banh mi sandwiches, rice-and-noodle bowls, and pho. The Phams, who will serve as owners and operators, bring 20 years’ experience in the restaurant business and last worked as executive chefs of the award-winning Mai Lee restaurant.

The Banh Mi Stop will be located in an 1,800 square-foot space on West Hanley Road in Carmel, Indiana. Renovation plans include an updated dining area and new bathrooms, and the new design will feature Vietnamese street style, with unique details carried out by Hanna Flores of Flex Designs, and special features will include an elevated bench seating area, a green wall, and string lights, and the dining area will seat around 40 guests and feature a hanging collaborative art installation by Chicago muralist and chef Won Kim. The Banh Mi Stop fulfills a market demand for quick, cheap, and delicious Vietnamese food. Conservative projections anticipate the following costs and first-year sales: $363,000 in start-up costs, with $174,000 from the owners and the remainder from a proposed bank loan; 1,400 customers per week resulting in weekly sales of just over $15,400, or $800,800 annually; $445 per square foot in sales annually, positioning The Banh Mi Stop as a highly desirable concept in a fast-casual market, where $300 to $425 per square foot is considered moderately profitable and therefore a good investment.

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Editor’s Recommendation

The following revision breaks up rambling sentences into shorter units and long paragraphs into multiple shorter paragraphs. A list creates additional white space.

Executive Summary

Tony and Hai Pham are thrilled to introduce “The Banh Mi Stop.” This moderately priced fast-casual concept will serve Vietnamese favorites, including banh mi sandwiches, rice-and-noodle bowls, and pho.

The Phams, who will serve as owners and operators, bring 20 years’ experience in the restaurant business. They last worked as executive chefs of the award-winning Bai Lee restaurant.

The Banh Mi Stop will be located in an 1,800 square-foot space on West Hanley Road in Carmel, Indiana. Renovation plans include an updated dining area and new bathrooms. The new design will feature Vietnamese street art, with unique details carried out by Hanna Flores of Flex Designs. Special features will include an elevated bench seating area, a green wall, and string lights. The dining area will seat around 40 guests and feature a hanging collaborative art installation by Chicago muralist and chef Won Kim.

The Banh Mi Stop fulfills a market demand for quick, cheap, and delicious Vietnamese food. Conservative projections anticipate the following costs and first-year sales:

$363,000 in start-up costs, with $174,000 from the owners and the remainder from a proposed bank loan
1,400 customers per week resulting in weekly sales of just over $15,400, or $800,800 annually
$445 per square foot in sales annually, positioning The Banh Mi Stop as a highly desirable concept in a fast-casual market, where $300 to $425 per square foot is considered moderately profitable and therefore a good investment

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