9
Writing to Inform
Most business writing seeks to inform readers, telling them something important. Right up front, readers want to know what you are writing about (your topic), and why you are writing (your purpose). Then they need well-organized details that explain the topic and purpose, leading to whatever action you want them to take.
You can organize all of your informative messages using the simple SEA formula, which stands for Situation, Explanation, Action. This chapter will show you how.
In this chapter
Guidelines Writing to Inform
Your goal when writing to inform is to present the information effectively and invite the reader’s response.
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Plan: (Ideas and Organization)
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Think about your readers—what they already know and what they need to know.
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Ask yourself what you want your readers to do. What will success look like for this message?
Prepare to draft.
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Consider what your reader wants or expects.
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Gather work-related reasons for your news.
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If appropriate, explore other options for the reader.
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Draft: (Ideas, Organization, and Voice)
Remember SEA—Situation (main point), Explanation, Action.
Opening Identify the topic and explain why you are writing. Present your key point as either a statement, a question, or a request.
Middle Support your main point with details that clarify the situation, news, and implications. If appropriate, focus on benefits.
Closing Note any action the reader should take; include steps that may be taken; and add contact information. Indicate who should do what, when, where, why, and how. If action is unnecessary, simply end the message positively and politely.
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Revise: (Ideas, Organization, Voice, Words, and Sentences)
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Have you included accurate details—in the best order?
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Have you used a businesslike tone with polite attention to the reader’s needs and benefits?
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Have you used clear, concise wording?
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Do you have smooth-reading sentences that communicate clearly?
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Edit: (Conventions and Design)
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Have you checked grammar, punctuation, and spelling?
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Have you checked the format (spacing, type size, fonts, and so on)?
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“Good words are worth much, and cost little.”
—George Herbert
Writing to Inform
Writing Announcements or Notices
Good morning:
Opening: State the main point up front. Starting April 1, please make all your company-related flight arrangements through the Travel Center. This change will require some adjustments, but it will actually benefit both you and the company.
Middle: Provide details to explain the main point. The business office is implementing the change because the Travel Center is now offering several options for its corporate customers. In checking out the options, we found an attractive reservation and payment plan. Here are some details:
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If you personally book a flight with the Travel Center, you will accumulate bonus miles in your name.
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If the company books the flight, as in the past, the company will receive the bonus miles.
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The company will have a more efficient way to track travel costs.
Closing: Explain what the reader should do. Close the message by inviting feedback. Please follow the procedure below for all future company flights:
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Book flights through the Travel Center (262-555-8898 or travelcenter.com) and charge them to Rankin.
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When Sherri Pomerenki forwards the invoice to you, specify the account to be charged, sign the invoice, and return it to her.
If you have any questions, please contact me by phone (ext. 9721) or email (belias@rnkn.com).
Thanks,
Brittany Elias
Director, Human Resources
Writing Updates
Hi, Randall:
Opening: Announce your purpose and subject. Here’s an update on the new-employee orientation program.
First, I developed a new checklist by combining two forms into one and by adding several items. The new form is attached, with additions highlighted.
Middle: Organize your points clearly, logically, and completely. Second, I fine-tuned the orientation procedure to work with the new form. Here’s an overview:
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Human Resources will enclose this checklist in each new employee’s orientation packet.
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Rebecca will cover items one through six during her new-employee presentation.
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The employee’s supervisor will confirm that the employee understands items one through six, and then cover the remaining items.
- Present information in lists.
The supervisor will fill out the performance reviews on the reverse side of the form following this schedule: after day one, at the end of week one, at the end of week two, and after 30 days.
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After the final review, the supervisor and the new employee will sign the form, and the supervisor will return it to Human Resources.
Closing: Anticipate the next step. Please look at the attached form and evaluate the procedure. With your approval, we will present this information to area supervisors at their next meeting.
Thanks,
Melissa St. James
Writing Cover Messages
Good morning:
Opening: Announce the attachment and its purpose. To help new employees become familiar with day-to-day procedures, Human Resources has revised the New-Employee Orientation Checklist (attached). The revised checklist should shorten the time it takes for new employees to learn their assignments, company policies, and department procedures.
Middle: Use a numbered list to provide details the reader needs to understand. You will receive the checklist on the first day that a new employee starts work in your department. As before, please use the form for 30 days and then return it to Human Resources. Note the following details:
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While the form does not cite all topics addressed during orientation, the form does list the key topics that need to be covered.
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The form lists the topics Human Resources will address and the topics that department heads will need to cover.
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The last section of the form covers how new employees are reviewed. The review process is broken into four time periods: after day one, at the end of week one, at the end of week two, and after 30 days.
Closing: Request feedback. Because the updated checklist includes more information, it will take more time to complete. However, we believe this checklist will help all new employees learn their jobs more quickly. Please review the checklist. If you have questions about it, call me at extension 89, or email me with any questions.
Thanks,
Melissa St. James
Writing Credit Approvals
April 3, 2019
If needed, insert a confirmation notation. Confirmation of email sent March 26, 2019
Mr. Grant Bostwick, President
Dale’s Garden Center
484 Leeward Avenue, SE
Tuscaloosa, AL 35406-3770
Dear Mr. Bostwick:
Opening: State the approval positively. Thank you for requesting a credit account at Cottonwood Hills Greenhouse and Florist Supply. We are pleased to extend you $100,000 in credit based on Dale’s Garden Center’s strong financial condition. Congratulations!
Middle: To avoid future problems, spell out details or credit terms. Here are some details concerning your account:
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You will be billed the first day of the month.
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The balance is due within 30 days, interest free.
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Any balance owed beyond 30 days will be subject to a 15 percent annual finance charge.
I have enclosed a brochure describing our credit policies and procedures in more detail. Please call me (655-555-3321) if you have any questions.
Closing: Include sales material and anticipate a positive future. Because you indicated that you plan to expand your sales of bedding plants and silk flowers, I have also enclosed our spring catalog with these sections flagged. Mr. Bostwick, we look forward to filling your orders and satisfying your customers. Count on us to help Dale’s flourish!
Yours sincerely,
Salome Nguru
Sales Manager
Enclosures 2
Writing Information Requests
February 22, 2019
Planning & Development Services
Halifax Regional Municipality
P.O. Box 1749
Halifax, NS B3J 3A5
CANADA
SUBJECT: ZONING INQUIRY FOR 219 WELLS ST., HALIFAX, NS
Opening: Put key details up front so that the request makes sense. I represent the purchaser, Hector Coyote, in a transaction for the property noted above, presently owned by Diana Elbach. I’m writing to request information necessary for moving forward with the sale.
Middle: Make your requests politely. Please send me the following information:
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According to the owner, the building on the property is being used as a residence with a second unit (an attic apartment). Does this use conform with the current zoning code?
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List questions in logical order. Were building and occupancy permits issued for this property? If so, when was each issued? Were conditions attached? If so, what were they?
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Does the property meet municipal standards for side- and front-yard clearance? (Please refer to the enclosed survey.)
Closing: Give clear, simple response directions and close politely. Because of the purchase agreement between Ms. Elbach and Mr. Coyote, I need this information by March 1. Please feel free to fax (613-555-7501) or mail your answers on the enclosed form.
Thank you for your assistance.
DAVID S. WILSON
DSW/BBK
Enclosures 2
Writing Invitations
May 28, 2019
Ms. Lorraine Scott
Sales Representative
206 West Dundee Street
Chicago, IL 60614
Dear Lorraine:
Opening: State the invitation politely. Welcome to the Sales Seminar! I hope that you will have a productive week. While you are here, please help us celebrate Rankin’s 20th anniversary.
Middle: Provide the context. This year, we have a lot to celebrate. Our office expansion is finished, and sales grew by 16 percent. On Wednesday, June 2, we would like you to be our guest at the following events:
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Give all necessary details of the event. an open house from 8:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. with hourly tours of the new office, engineering, and manufacturing facilities.
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a ribbon-cutting ceremony at 4:00 p.m. on the west lawn, with refreshments served at 4:30 p.m.
Closing: Anticipate participation and offer help. You are a big part of Rankin’s success, Lorraine. I hope that you can take a break from your busy seminar schedule and join us. If you need directions, transportation, or other information, please speak with Rebecca Wright or call Matthew Nicolai at 555-1980, extension 4, or send him an email at mnicolai@rnkn.com.
Sincerely,
Sharissa Hershey
Vice President of Sales
rh/svw
Writing Positive Adjustments
July 8, 2019
Confirmation of email sent July 1, 2019.
Mr. Jamaal Ellison
Southeast Electric
1976 Boulder Road, Suite 1214
Charlotte, NC 28216-1203
Dear Mr. Ellison:
Opening: Provide necessary background, apologize, and offer solutions. Thank you for your patience and understanding as we investigated the malfunction of the ATV16 drives that you had installed for American Linc Company. I apologize for the inconvenience caused to both your company and American Linc. Below is a description of the problem, along with our solution.
Problem: |
Middle: Explain causes and solutions clearly in neutral language. Serial-link failure. In response to your report on the malfunction, AC Drives sent a technician to American Linc Company. He determined the cause of the failure to be a defective voltage regulator in the serial-link box. |
Solution: |
Our technician replaced the voltage regulator and apologized to Jean Snow, plant manager. This morning I wrote an email and a follow-up letter to Ms. Snow in which I acknowledged that the problem was ours (not yours), and I apologized for the inconvenience. |
Closing: Express appreciation and focus on future business. Thanks again for alerting us to the problem. With your help, it was resolved promptly. I look forward to future business with Southeast Electric.
Yours sincerely,
Elaine Hoffman
Product Manager
Writing Positive Replies to Inquiries
February 25, 2019
Christine and Dale Shepherd
1026 11th Avenue, NE
Aspen, CO 81212-3219
Dear Christine and Dale:
Opening: State the reason for your response and your appreciation for the inquiry. Thank you for your inquiry yesterday about financing your resort project. I enjoyed discussing your project and appreciated your frankness about your current loan with Boulder National Bank.
Although you commented that you will seek an extension of your loan from Boulder National, I have enclosed Aspen State Bank’s commitment letter, subject to the terms we discussed. Perhaps you will consider our package. Middle: Provide the reader with the desired information and stress its value. Rates available are as follows:
15-year fixed rate |
5.875% |
20-year fixed rate |
6.25% |
30-year fixed rate |
6.25% |
In case you do not proceed with the Boulder loan, this commitment will be good for 60 business days from today (February 25). If lower rates are available at closing, you will receive the benefit of that reduction.
Closing: Anticipate and invite future contact. Thank you for your interest. I hope that your project goes well. If we can’t work together on this project, please keep us in mind for future credit needs.
Yours sincerely,
Cara Harrison
Loan Officer
Enclosure: Commitment Letter
Writing Request for Proposal Acceptances
March 22, 2019
Mr. Gavin Farnsworth
Miami Computer Enterprises
1202 South Benton
Miami, FL 33166-1217
Dear Mr. Farnsworth:
Opening: State your acceptance positively. I have reviewed your letter from March 15. In response to your proposal, I am happy to offer my consulting services to Miami Computer customers.
Middle: Stress the benefits of the decision and cover details that need to be clarified or recorded. This arrangement will benefit all parties involved. Together, we will be able to offer your clients “one-stop shopping” for all their computer needs—hardware, software, training, and support. And I will be able to work with your established customer base without having to generate my own.
Therefore, I accept your proposed rate of $45 per hour (minimum of 20 hours per week) as indicated in the amended agreement (outline enclosed). Please note that the bold items on the outline indicate additions to the original proposal. I simply added the items covered in your letter.
Closing: Explore the next step and anticipate a positive outcome. Please let me know of any specific information or documentation that you need to see on my invoices. I look forward to a productive partnership in which we will serve each other and your clients.
Yours sincerely,
Juanita Guiverra
Enc.: Agreement Outline
Writing Thank-You Messages
May 14, 2019
Mr. Donald Keebler
Keebler Electronics
466 Hanover Boulevard
Penticton, BC V2A 5S1
CANADA
Dear Mr. Keebler:
Opening: State your thanks directly. On behalf of the entire staff at Hope Services, I want to thank you for helping us choose a sound system that fits both our needs and our budget. Thanks, too, for working around our schedule during installation.
Middle: Provide clear, specific details. We have found that the system meets all our needs. Being able to adjust sound input and output for different uses in different rooms has been wonderful. The system helps staff in the family room with play-based assessment, and team members are tuning in to different conversations as if they were in the room themselves. As a result, children who might feel overwhelmed with too many people in the room can relax and play naturally.
Be personal and professional in tone. In addition, parents also use the sound system to listen in on sessions in the therapy room as therapists model constructive one-on-one communication methods with children.
Closing: Use the reader’s name and stress cooperation and future contact. Thanks again, Donald, for your cooperation and excellent work. I would be happy to recommend your services to anyone needing sound equipment.
Yours sincerely,
Barbara Talbot
Executive Director
Writing Apologies
Note: An apology puts the good news up front: an apology, expression of regret, and amends. July 8, 2019
Ms. Joan Meyer
605 Appleton Avenue
Green Bay, WI 53401
Dear Ms. Meyer:
Opening: Be positive, and provide your main point (the apology). Indicate how you will make amends. Thank you for choosing Magnolia Grand! We apologize that your confirmed room was unavailable last night. For your trouble, there will be no charge for last night’s lodging, and we’ve upgraded your room at no expense to you.
We make every effort to accommodate guest requests, but when several guests did not depart as scheduled, we were forced to change your accommodations. Middle: Explain what caused the problem, repeat the apology, and reiterate how you have addressed the situation.We are sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you, but hope the upgrade and free night make up for this change. As always, our goal is to offer you outstanding service and genuine hospitality.
Should you need any assistance, please call the front desk or contact me directly at extension 408. Closing: Stress further assistance and continued satisfaction.We hope you enjoy the remainder of your stay with us. Thank you for your patience, understanding, and patronage.
Yours sincerely,
Mary-Lee Preston
Front Office Manager
MP/AM
Checklist Writing to Inform
Your goal when writing to inform is to present the information effectively and invite the reader’s response.
My writing . . .
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has a main point, and all supporting points are clear, precise, and accurate.
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supplies readers with all the necessary information.
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has an opening that provides necessary background and presents the key point as either a statement, a question, or a request.
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has a middle that expands the main point by adding supporting details while explaining benefits to the reader.
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has a closing that calls for action, stresses continued contact, offers help, and/or focuses positively on the future by answering who should do what, when, where, why, and how.
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follows the SEA organization pattern.
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uses a businesslike and polite voice that is not rushed or abrupt.
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uses everyday language (plain English) as much as possible.
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defines words unfamiliar to readers.
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states the main point in a clear sentence.
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contains helpful transitions and reads well aloud.
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is free of errors in grammar, spelling, punctuation, and keyboarding.
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uses correct format for a letter, a memo, or an email.
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includes white space and easy-to-read type.
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organizes ideas, points, and details using numbers, bullets, or graphics.
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“For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news.”
—Gloria Borger